Disable MSN Messenger in Windows XP

Once again Microsoft decided to take matters into their own hands and made MSN Messenger a built-in default feature in XP. While we're sure you appreciate the sentiment, you're not alone if you find it another annoying and useless feature.

Halt immediately if you're feverishly sending your mouse on a 'remove programme' mission! Simply removing this from your system might see you running into some trouble. Microsoft have been devilishly clever in intergrating this programme into Windows.

The next best thing is simply to disable it.

1. Open the Windows Messenger.
2. Go to Tools.
3. Select 'Options'.
4. Select the 'Preferences' tab.
5. Un-check 'Run Windows Messenger when Windows starts'.
6. Un-check 'Run Windows Messenger in the background / Allow Windows Messenger to run in the background'.
7. Click 'OK'.
8. Close the programme.

Now you still have the programme on your system if you ever decide to do some IM'ing, but without the annoying MSN Messenger pop up when you turn on your computer or try to surf the web.

Do you have any digital media queries? Please feel free to contact me.

Candice Turnbull

Your Image - Your Brand
Survivor

Hi, lovely ladies! It is me again, your style "guru" in the city. This month I have been inspired by Mnet’s programme: Survivor Celebrity. It is really great seeing all the glamour girls (and some of the boys) going in looking like a million dollars but a couple of days later, and their hair starts looking like somebody accidentally poked their finger in a live socket! The flawless make-up a distant memory as we see the real natural faces appear. No more carefully arched brows, glossy lips and skillfully applied flushed cheeks. I must say that it is strangely lovely to see the slightly flawed/natural yet fresh faces on TV.

Anyway, this got me thinking as to what I will pack if I had to be stranded on an isolated island in full view of the constant eye of the cameras. But then again maybe you will find tips for yourself while stranded in the city?

Things I will invest in:

1. Electrolysis - permanent hair remover for under arms, legs and a bikini line - no re-growth in full view of the nation!
2. Permanent lash-extensions - all that swimming is sure to turn your mascara from Twiggy to Panda bear!
3. All over body scrub and buff - no flakey dull skin to expose.
4. Permanent hair straightening - have you seen all the frizzy and bushy hair after two days? Failing this, go for a no: 1 haircut or a "Kojack" (bles/kaalkop) as it is very fashionable for girls and boys alike.
5. Very short nails - what with all that foraging in bushes for spinach and clawing little sea animals off the rocks.

Things I will pack:

1. Start with a very good fitting two-piece bathing suit. This will have to double up as underwear and outerwear. Under-wire bra (some costumes have them) may be a good idea if you need a bit of push up! (This reminds me, if ever you contemplated chest enhancement, this might be a good time to do so (?!!)
2. Pack two wraps. One in a thick material to ward of the evening chill and that can also be used as a little blanket. The other one should be in lightweight cotton to drape on hips or higher up the body depending on the size of your tummy at the start. Do not despair, as this tummy will soon disappear due to lack of food and your skills to forage in the wild. Make sure that both wraps are of a dark colour, otherwise, it will soon resemble a floor rag!
3. Trainers and flip-flops - for obvious reasons!
4. Sun block and moisturizer
5. Hair treatment - if you want to keep your hair
6. Toothbrush - not a good time to skimp on the hygiene
7. Ziploc bags - the greatest invention to keep things dry and safe
8. Socks to keep your toes warm at night

There you have it – if ever you are going to be stranded or planning a safari or bush retreat, be prepared to look passable at the very least!

Please send any queries you may have on beauty, fashion and make-up and I will endeavor to give you a solution or advice.

Till next month
Anneline Black

Your Questions Answered from Last Month:

Question: I attended a performance by a very well known young musician. She was wearing an ill-fitting (far too small) strapless dress. Although she was brilliant, her appearance negatively affected her performance. The next day it even appeared on face book and her appearance was talked about instead of her brilliant performance. This made me sad as this had an impact on her self-confidence. Any advice?

Answer: Firstly, performers must always be aware of their target market. Who are they performing too? What is the tone of the performance? If it is a classical performance, you need to dress accordingly as the expectation is for a more formal tone. A long well fitting dress or even smart trousers with a smart (not too sexy) top will be the order of the day. Remember people are coming to watch and listen to the performance and will be distracted by outlandish outfits. Invest in seeking the advice of a stylist if you are not sure. It could save you a lot of embarrassment. Also, make sure your make-up and hair is well groomed.

Immigration Law

The Immigration Act No.13 of 2002, regulates the status and activities of foreigners in South Africa. Any foreign worker who is not a permanent resident requires a work permit in terms of the Immigration Act. The employment of illegal foreigners, foreigners whose status do not authorise them to be employed, and the employment of foreigners on terms and conditions or in a capacity different from those contemplated in such foreigner’s status is prohibited.

The recruiting process for hiring foreign employees normally takes place before theworker is in possession of the required permit and must correlate with the regulatory requirements for the category of work permit being applied for.

By way of example, it is mandatory in an application for a general work permit, to advertise the position being offered in a prescribed manner, in order to give locals the first option of applying. An employer may, therefore, not offer the post, either verbally or in writing, to a foreign national until all local applications have been given fair consideration. However, in certain situations, posts maybe offered to foreign applicants without the need to advertise first, for example where the foreign employee qualifies for a quota permit in a skills shortage area, is the holder of an exceptional skills permit or where an intra-company transfer work permit is obtained. It is preferable for all offers of employment to be made subject to the employee obtaining the appropriate work permit.

When hiring foreign employees, companies are obliged to confirm that they hold the appropriate work permit to work for the company concerned, in the specified position. Even foreigners who hold valid work permits must usually apply for a change of their permits to authorise them to work for their new employer.

Where an existing foreign employee’s work authorisation expires, the employer must ensure that the employee is in possession of a new or renewed permit before the expiry date of the initial permit, failing which employment must either be suspended until a valid work permit or renewal is obtained, or employment may be terminated in a procedurally fair manner.

The Immigration Act provides for admission of persons to, their residence in, and their departure from South Africa. It also provides for the issuing of various categories of temporary and permanent residence permits, including work permits. Work is defined in the Act to include conducting any activity normally associated with the running of a specific business; or being employed or conducting activities consistent with being employed or consistent with the profession of the person, with or without remuneration or reward.

As soon as the intended activities of a foreigner can be brought within this definition, authorisation to work must be obtained irrespective of the duration or nature of the activities. Failure to obtain the correct permit may result in criminal liability for both the transgressing employees and employers.

To determine the appropriate application category, one must consider factors such as the skills and qualifications of the candidate, the duration of the placement and the number of foreigners that need to be employed.

For short placements, a visitor’s visa with consent to work may be obtained. The visa can be granted for up to 90 days and can be renewed once for a further 90 day period.

The Act also provides various permits suited to longer assignments, such as the quota work permit which allows for employment in recognised skills shortage industries,the general work permit which allows foreign workers to compete in the labour market for employment, the exceptional skills permit suited to those who possesses special expertise in their area of practice, exchange permits, intra-company transfer permits and corporate permits which authorise a company to employ a pre determined number of foreign workers in specific positions.

The provisions of the Immigration Act give rise to a legal presumption that if an illegal foreigner is found on any premises where a business is conducted, the foreigner was employed by the person who has control over the premises, unless evidence to the contrary is adduced.

It is no defence to aver that the status of the foreigner concerned was unknown to the accused if it is proved that the accused ought reasonably to have known the status of the foreigner, or whether he or she was an illegal foreigner.

Z. Ebrahim, Edward Nathan Sonnenbergs

Listen generously

"Don’t jeopardize a relationship by failing to listen when the other person is speaking" - Debra Fine

Scientific research has shown that people can listen at the rate of approximately 300 words a minute. On the other hand, most of us can speak at only 150 - 200 words a minute. This goes to prove the old expression that as we have two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we speak!

Easier said than done.

Our dilemma is that the human mind has the capacity to take in much more information than one person can possibly produce verbally for us at any given time. So, what do we do with the extra capacity? We put it to use of course: we eavesdrop on other conversations taking place around us at the time, we start thinking about the price of fuel, or we drift away into our private thoughts, and suddenly we have gone too far... and lost focus completely on what the person in front of us has been saying!

Psychoanalyst Dr Ann Appelbaum wrote in the newsletter of a US Clinic:
"The image of the voice crying in the wilderness epitomizes the loneliness, the madness of not being heard. So great is our need and hunger for validation, that good listeners are prized."

We have to accept that conversations with colleagues and clients contribute to the development of relationship. On this basis it is not optional, but a necessary courtesy as a conversational partner, to listen when the other person is speaking.

So, if you struggle in this area, here are some tips to listen generously:

• Develop the desire to listen to others. Accept that others always have something of value to tell you, and make the effort to listen.
• Listening is seen - people like to see evidence that the other person is listening, so give them visual clues to validate that you are paying attention and receiving the message. Examples of this are facial expressions, maintaining eye contact, head nods, hand gestures
• Take notes, where appropriate. Taking notes is living proof that you are taking seriously what is being shared with you, and gives the speaker assurance that you will remember what was said.
• Listening is not just seen, it’s heard!

Don’t you get frustrated when the person you are talking to stays completely silent? Verbal clues complement the visual clues you give a speaker and let them know you are fully present. Here are a few:

• respond with a positive statement ‘that’s interesting!’
• empathise ‘I am sorry to hear that/that must have been tough’
• seek clarity ‘I am not sure I understand...’
• expand a point ‘why do you feel that way/ how do you see it working?’
• argue/debate ‘I don’t agree. In my opinion...’
• take it in ‘mmm... yes/ I see...’
• re-direct the conversation ‘that reminds me...’
• control internal and external distractions. Stay focused to retain what’s been said. Don’t be tempted to pay attention to something else happening around you, as exciting as it may be. If it is something you should both be focused on, rather interrupt the conversation to draw attention to the distracting activity, and return to the original topic later.
• If you are too bored or too tired to stay in the conversation, bow out graciously, instead of embarrassing yourself and the other person by demonstrating your boredom... or worse still, falling asleep during the conversation.

For those of us who are more extravertedly inclined, listening is generally not a preference that dominates our behaviour! This is something we have to acknowledge and work at. There is no doubt that our introverted colleagues are naturally inclined to listen more than they speak… But perhaps their challenge is to listen more actively, with more visual and verbal clues.

The bottom line, is that we all have work to do to make this skill a vital part of our toolkit for connecting with others and building relationships of trust.

Melany Green, Business Presentation Group

Discovering and reflecting your unique personal brand and professional image.

It is my belief that the way we choose to dress ourselves says a lot about who we are. This seems to have the biggest impact in our professional lives where first impressions are often lasting ones. In today’s highly competitive job and business market, we cannot afford to overlook this.

In my extensive work with women from all walks of life, I have discovered a growing need for women to create a professional image and personal brand that reflects who they are in an authentic and integrated way.

Your professional image no longer needs to be a "mask" or a "front", but rather an accurate reflection of your confidence and the value that you add to your working environment.

So how do we know what we are saying about ourselves? How do we reflect who we truly are through our outer appearance?

To help you answer some of these questions, I want you to consider what your existing look says about you. It’s time to give some deeper thought to the impact that your clothing choices have on you and those around you.

Start by considering these two questions:

How would you describe your professional look?
Think of a few ways to describe your professional look, such as:

• Corporate (mostly suits)
• Conservative colours and styles
• Structured
• Masculine
• Chic
• Feminine
• Casual

What do you think your professional look says about you?
Here are a couple of suggestions:

• Skilled
• No nonsense
• Business focused
• Trustworthy
• Reliable
• Laid back

Give some consideration to what your look is saying about you: is the image that you are projecting truly representative of who you are, or is it misleading or even incorrect?

If you are a skilled, no nonsense, focused business woman, but feel that your look portrays you as laid back, casual and artistic, then it may be time to reconsider your professional image.

I hope this will inspire you to consider the professional image that you are portraying, and help you to create an accurate reflection of who you really are.
House of Tracy Gold

Compiled from Alan Hosking’s article.
Alan Hosking
Publisher: HR Future

An American conference speaker arrived at O R Tambo airport and was collected by a driver who was to take him to his Sandton hotel. While they were driving towards the city from the airport, the American thought he would strike up a conversation with the driver.

"Where are you from?" he asked the driver.

"I’m from Soweto, sir" said the driver.

Not knowing anything about SA town planning or provincial boundaries, the American, trying to find out a little more about his driver, asked, "And what state is Soweto in?"

"Oh, it’s in a terrible state," came back the reply...

This miscommunication provides much food for thought to those of us who are planning to make this year different from the many we have put behind us.

If you’re going to make the most of the opportunities this year WILL present to you, you’re going to have to determine what state your mind is in. Is it in a terrible state or in an energised state?

The driver who described Soweto as being in a terrible state was describing his perception of Soweto. Someone else, when asked the same question, might well have answered exactly the opposite, and commented that things were going well in Soweto.

Very few people realise that the state of their minds plays a large role in determining the state of their lives. Those who continually expect the worst, usually get what they expect. People who believe that they don’t have any chance of success or promotion or growth or improvement have very little chance of experiencing any of these.

This is so true as we sometimes only respond/react to what is happening to us in our life, or what kind of circumstances we find ourselves in, thinking that this defeats you, and why try to beat against the odds? We feel overwhelmed and downcast, and so the sparkle in you starts to die little by little, until you become so pessimistic about any opportunity, that you have defeated yourself before even considering the possibilities that lies ahead!

Our perception of our world, prompts us to communicate with ourselves in a particular way, triggering certain actions and behaviours that will then result in certain outcomes. If you don’t expect a positive outcome, you won’t get one.

When you go to work believing that your workplace is closed to opportunities, that your career is going nowhere, that everybody is out to get you, you’ll get what you expect. That’s because your state of mind will cause you to take actions that will send people around you hundreds of subtle signals that will make them behave in certain ways in response to your actions.

So we see that in actual fact it is one simple choice we can make. Either choosing to see the possibility, or choosing to see the failure before it even began.

Dr Stephen R Covey wrote about this choices in his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. He said, “Between stimulus and response is our greatest power – the freedom to choose!” And explained his statement with the following, during the Second World War, in the Nazi death camps, Dr Victor Frankl discovered that he could decide within himself how all of the atrocities, that he was experiencing, were going to affect him. Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response!

Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values – carefully thought about, selected and internalised values.

Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli (just like the reactive people), whether physical, social, or psychological. But their response to the stimuli, conscious or unconscious, is a value-based choice or response.

People don’t generally want to accept or believe this. That’s because if they do they instinctively know that they have to take responsibility for their failures. And no-one wants to do that. It’s far more convenient to blame our failures on the economy, the government, the company, the staff and so on.

As my friend, Sakkie Botha observed, it is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.

What state of mind do you think will help you best? A depressed, unmotivated state of mind, or an energised, positive and expectant one?

Alan Hosking in a previous article referred to the shoe salesman who was sent to a developing country to sell shoes. Within a few days, he emailed his head office back in his country of origin and said: “Send my return air fare. No-one here wears shoes.”
He duly returned home and continued a life of mediocrity.

Another salesman was sent to the same country. Within a few days, he emailed his head office: "Send all the shoes you can. No-one here wears shoes."

I urge you to examine your state of mind, examine the internal conversations that you conduct with yourself and start reshaping them to take you to a more positive, successful outcome!

Is your behaviour a product of your own conscious choice, based on your values, or is it a product of your conditions, based on feeling?

Martie Lancellas, Strong Foundation